How To Support a Loved One With PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that is triggered by a terrifying event, according to the Mayo Clinic. Whether a person experiences something traumatic first-hand or witnesses an event, both can result in PTSD.

What are the symptoms?

PTSD has a wide variety of symptoms, but some everyday things to look out for include:

• Intrusive memories: unwanted recurring distressing memories, flashbacks, and nightmares of the event. Severe emotional or physical reactions to reminders of the event.
• Avoidance: Avoiding thoughts, conversations, places, activities, or people associated with the event.
•  Negative Changes in Thinking and Mood: Negative self-perception and pessimism about the future. Memory issues, difficulty in relationships, detachment from loved ones, loss of interest in activities, difficulty feeling positive emotions, and emotional numbness.
• Changes in Physical and Emotional Reactions: Easily startled or frightened, always on guard, self-destructive behavior, sleep and concentration problems, irritability, anger, guilt, or shame.

The symptoms of PTSD can often mimic the unpredictable nature of flares, varying in intensity as time progresses. An individual suffering from this condition might experience periods of relative stability, only to have their symptoms intensify when faced with reminders of the traumatic event. For example, a combat veteran might find loud noises particularly distressing. It is essential to closely observe your loved one and engage in open communication to identify their specific triggers accurately. If they are not already under the care of a professional, it may be beneficial to suggest they consult with a mental health expert who specializes in PTSD. This could be a very vital step in their healing journey.

Healthy Communication is Critical

Healthy communication can make a significant difference in letting your loved one know you are there for them. If communication is a work in progress for you and your loved one, take note of the advice provided by the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs. They suggest the following:

• Be clear and to the point.
• Be positive. Blame and negative talk will not help the situation.
• Be a good listener. Don’t argue or interrupt. Repeat what you hear to ensure you understand, and ask questions if you need to know more.
• Express your feelings. Your loved one may not know you are sad or frustrated unless you are clear about your feelings.
• Help your family members express their feelings. Ask, “Are you feeling angry? Sad? Worried?”
• Ask how you can help. Don’t advise unless you are asked.

Emotions such as blame, guilt, and shame can create barriers to communication with your loved one. To navigate this, make their mental well-being your primary focus. Recognize and accept your emotions and listen attentively to your loved one’s feelings without attributing any blame. They may need to discuss the traumatic event repeatedly, so instead of urging them to move past it, try to embrace the healing process, even if it seems repetitive. Also, if they choose not to talk, respect their decision. It is more beneficial for them to share their experiences naturally rather than feeling coerced into revealing information.

If you encounter challenges in communicating with your loved one, explore the option of family therapy. This form of counseling can include multiple family members and provide an environment that promotes open communication. Additionally, it can aid in preserving a healthy relationship during your loved one’s healing journey and offer a supportive platform to navigate challenging emotions and difficult conversations.

Dealing with Anger

Some people who have PTSD may feel angry about many things. It is a normal reaction to trauma. Still, anger and violence can hurt relationships and make it complicated for both parties to think clearly.

If your loved one’s anger ever leads to violent behavior or abuse, remove yourself from the situation, go to a safe place, and call for help right away. This type of anger can be frightening, and although you may want to help your loved one, professional help is better suited to such an expression. If your loved one is exhibiting general anger or frustration, the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs suggests setting a time-out system; this includes the following:

• Agree that either of you can call a time-out at any time.
• Agree that when someone calls a time-out, the discussion must stop immediately.
• Decide on a signal you will use to call a time-out. The signal can be a word that you say or a hand signal.
• Agree to tell each other where you will be and what you will do during the time-out. Tell each other what time you will come back.

During the time-out, think calmly about how you will continue to talk things over to find a solution. After the time-out, practice the following:

• Take turns talking about solutions to the problem. Listen without interrupting.
• Use statements starting with “I,” such as “I think” or “I feel.” Using “you” statements can sound accusing.
• Be open to each other’s ideas. Don’t criticize each other.
• Focus on things you both think will work. It may both will have good ideas.
• Together, agree on which solutions you will use.

By reading this article, you are already taking a significant step towards supporting your loved one. PTSD can heighten the risk of other mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts or actions. For those suffering from PTSD, having a supportive network and someone to envision a hopeful future with can be incredibly beneficial. Throughout this journey, it is important not to feel guilty if you don’t have all the answers or fully understand the intricacies of the condition. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed at times. Remember, your support can play a crucial role in preventing your loved one from resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the value of a mental health team. Professionals such as psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, or family therapists can provide you and your loved one with essential information about treatment options and coping strategies. Your dedication and expertise can work together toward a healthier future.

PTSD Resources include The Anxiety and Depression Association of America, The National Center for PTSD, and The National Alliance on Mental Health.