When you hear the words “you’ve got breast cancer,” you probably can’t remember much about the conversation afterward. We asked women who have been in those shoes to share tips they wished they knew while navigating through diagnosis, deciding on treatment, and handling chemotherapy. Here’s what they had to say.
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Your World May Feel Like Its Crashing
After receiving a diagnosis, you might not know what you need immediately. But it is critical to allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings, whatever they are. When you are at your doctor’s office, they speak a foreign language. One survivor will never forget what her OBGYN, Ketly Michel, MD, told her, “We lost a battle, but we are going to win the war.” Her doctor’s words gave her confidence that someone had her back.
2. Remember Your Oncologist is a Scientist
But when it comes to your breast cancer treatment, you want the best scientist. An oncologist may speak with you in an unfamiliar way. But those who have been there believe they will give you the best course of treatment and have your best interests at heart–even if they don’t give you that warm and fuzzy feeling. That doesn’t mean you should accept rude behavior; they should be willing to explain things you need clarification on. As Black women dealing with the medical establishment, we want to ensure our voice is heard. Look for someone who takes you into their office and sits down for a lengthy conversation.
3. Don’t Go Down the Google Rabbit Hole
One survivor mentioned that she lost a lot of sleep Googling every term and drug name. She said it is not unusual to hear 50 terms in three weeks, which can become overwhelming. She decided to be aware and decided against overloading herself. At some point, she decided it was necessary to concentrate more on healing than understanding every term.
4. Know Your Stage, the Proposed Treatment Protocol, and the Side Effects
You must understand what is going to happen to your body, especially when it comes to drugs prescribed for chemotherapy or radiation. You may know that hair loss is possible, but what about fingers and toenails turning black, for example? Or your nails are falling off altogether. Even with hair loss, you might want a wig that works for you before chemotherapy begins instead of waiting until your hair falls out in clumps. One woman shared that hers fell out in the bowl at the hair salon a few weeks after she started chemotherapy, which traumatized her and her hairstylist.
5. Don’t Expect to Feel or Look Like Your Pre-Cancer Self During This Process
Your skin texture might change with dry skin, acne, or rashes. It may also get sensitive and itch because of your treatments. The treated skin may become darker or lighter during radiation, peel, or turn red. You also may become physically or emotionally exhausted. Don’t expect to have chemotherapy and run five miles afterward. You may be able to do it, but eventually, you will hit a wall. When you do, treat yourself with kindness.
6. Figure Out What Brings You Peace During the Process
The mental toll is tough when you hear a word associated with death, so it is essential to lean into faith or spiritual practices or explore talking with a therapist. Beyond that, it is okay to decide your needs minute-by-minute. For some patients, that may mean spending time with a trusted friend or family member during chemotherapy. For others, it might be better to listen to music or spend time alone for some quiet moments.
