Dr. Robin Smith opens up in this powerful session by saying that there is a soul ache that all humans carry, but Black men aren’t allowed to express theirs. Not even as children. “When little girls fall, and we pick them up, and we kiss their knee and tell them it’s okay,” she says. “And little boys fall, we tell them they better not cry or we’ll give them something to cry about.” She points out that the cycle continues as we become adults when we shame and blame men who show emotions. But it also shows up in them through crime, drug use, gun violence, and other acts of self-harm. She tells the audience that she and actor Courtney B. Vance are there with a permission slip that allows them to drop the pretense.
The full transcript of the session is below:
Wendy Racquel Robinson (00:03): One thing that I am excited about is this next section, and I think it’s going to be something we all need to lend our ears, eyes, and hearts to. It’s very important, in The Invisible Ache, Black Men identify their pain and reclaim their power. That is what this section is about, and your [mental wellbeing matters. The title of this session is called, like I said, The Invisible Ache, Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Reclaiming their Power.
It is also the title of a new book by our next panelist, Mr. Courtney. B Vance is a Tony and two-Time Emmy Award-winning actor, producer, and Arthur in this Harvard Scholar, as well as a Yale School of Drama trained actor is always a powerful presence. From the theatrical boards to the silver screen,
Dr. Robin I. Smith is a licensed psychologist. She’s a media personality. She’s a bestselling author, keynote speaker, and ordained minister. Hallelujah. As a host of Sirius XMs, the Dr. Robin Show, Dr. Robin addresses today’s most pressing societal changes through fearless truth-telling. I think I will settle down while everybody settles down because this is a very important session that I want us to give our eyes, ears, and hearts to.
01:37): Thank you for moderating this discussion, Mr. Tony Cornelius. Tony Cornelius is a veteran television producer and founder of the Don Cornelius Foundation, which focuses on suicide prevention and awareness, and we are so excited to welcome this distinguished panel for this vital discussion. So please join me in welcoming these panelists. Thank you so much.
Tony Cornelius (02:02): Well, first I want to say I’m honored to be here. I was invited here last year for the first time, and Black Health Matters is real and I am absolutely pleased to have these two talented people on stage with me to be exact. There’s a book here called The Invisible Ache by Courtney Vance and Dr. Robin l Smith. And this is a fantastic exploration on Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Their Power, Reclaiming It. And when I first saw this book, this is exactly what’s happening with me as well. I have an invisible wake-up right now. My father passed in February 2012 of suicide, and that invisible ache follows me to this very day. I’d like to start by asking Dr. Robin and Courtney about this book’s title, the Invisible Ache. I’m really interested to know what that’s really about.
Dr. Robin Smith (03:29): We talked a lot. Courtney, my team, and I talked about the best topic, and people had different ideas. I was clear that there is like a soul ache that Black men often carry, human beings carry it, but Black men in particular carry this ache that no one can see, and that if we see it, sometimes we see it through crime or we see it through drug use, but there’s no language it that says, I hurt. I hurt. And I wonder if gun violence would go down. Not only poverty [is a huge part of it, racism is a part of it, but what’s also a huge part of it is if I can’t cry when I hurt, when little girls fall and we pick them up and we kiss their knee and tell them it’s okay, and little boys fall and we tell ’em they better not cry or we’ll give them something to cry about. And then as women, we get connected with these men and we shame and blame them. And I’m not shaming and blaming women, but I am saying that Black men have been stripped of their divine birthright and they hurt. And so Courtney and I are here almost like a principal would give a permission slip to say, not only do you hurt, but we see you and we see your ache.
Tony Cornelius (05:38): It’s always interesting to meet someone who identifies with suicide prevention and it’s very hard to talk about. I didn’t realize that Courtney had family members, particularly his father, as my father committed suicide. Suicide died by suicide, died by suicide. [I’m sorry. No, no. Don’t be sorry. There is a way to say this. We’re just learning. We’re all learning. There is a way to say this and we have an instant connection. An instant connection. And my question to Corey is, Courtney is how are you reclaiming your life back behind that? I mean, we talked about talking to someone. I mean personally, I have to admit, my father passed in 2012 and I haven’t had any therapy. I used my family as my therapy. My church is my therapy. My mother has my therapy, but never gone into a real serious conversation with someone about it. And it’s very, I’m almost afraid to do it. (
06:48): I know it’s hard work. It’s very, very hard work. So Courtney, I want to know how you were able to get through this. My mother. My mother, once I went home with my sister to take care of my mother’s affairs in order. And when we finished a month later, my mother said, now, when you and your sister go back to your cities, I want you to find a therapist. I’m going to find somebody here in Detroit, but when you go back to New York and to DC find somebody and we’re going to break this thing. And she gave me the license. And I know we don’t have a lot of time, but the thing that was most important to me to realize is that I’m worth it.
(07:30): At 30 years old, I had gone as far as I could go with the achievement track. I had gone to Detroit Country Day school with my scholarship and did everything that was at that school for 16 hours a day for four years, three sports for four years. Every club you could join, I joined and then went to Harvard and did that thing, went to Yale Drama School and did that thing and went to New York and did that thing, was on top of the world with six degrees of separation on Broadway. And I got the call from my mother, hysterical that your father killed himself. So all of that achievement stuff didn’t work no more. Didn’t nobody care about that mess. And it was time for me [to take the time and figure out me. My mother ped up on the floor and said to my sister, and I don’t even know how to turn on the VCR, y’all may not know, but Tony, they may not know what, it’s a young crowd out there, Dr. Robin, what are we going to do with him?
(08:59): Okay, we’ll leave that alone. We’ll, okay. The journey of finding someone for me was difficult. As you said, it’s work. But when I finally put my Laura Lenny actress, you may know her, she was in the cast with six degrees with us. And when I came back to the show, everybody wrapped me up and started trying to give me do for me. And Laura said, I have a therapist, massage therapist, I want you to, oh, okay, cool. In between shows on Wednesday when laid down on the table, met gun osp, laid down on the table and before I started, Gunilla asked me, is there anything I need to know before I get started? She said, I said, well, my father just died of suicide. She broke. I broke, and we began. And when she finished, she said, I know the perfect person for you. And that’s how I found my therapist. I was with her for about four years on and off. And initially, we did once a week, and thank God I was on Broadway, and was able to pay for her. But when I got in there, I recognized and started talking a mile a minute, and Dr. K, named Dr. Kornfield, got arrested. So I called her Dr. K. Dr. K said, Courtney, you don’t need to tell me everything today.
(10:29): But I realized this was my time, this was my time, and I could pay for it. And we worked off my dream. She challenged me and she said, I want you to get your dreams. And long story, I got my dreams and brought in 35 dreams to her. The next session, I mean a month two, has gone by, but 35 dreams. And so she said, Courtney, choose one. I said, really? So from somebody who didn’t know what to do, Dr. Robin, and if you listen and if you’re committed to the journey, to you, to our journey, we will be led. What we need to do and who we need to be with. But the main thing is you commit to me. You commit to commit to the journey. And by virtue of the journey, you will find out everything you need to find out. Dr. Robin, let’s say something real quick, and this leads me to a question to you, Dr. Robin, in seeking help, how do we seek help? Whether it be those that are depressed, those that are struggling with whatever it is they’re struggling with, how do we seek.
Dr. Robin Smith (11:39): Help? Anxiety, sometimes we think of depression and suicide. We don’t think about how anxious many people are, how afraid many people are. And I’m going to answer your question and roll it in to something you said. And Courtney said, you said you’re afraid almost to do the work, the hard work. I just want to remind us that suffering is a lot of work too. We’re just more familiar with how to suffer. And so I just want us to realize that it takes a lot of work and a lot of energy to suffer and to suffer silently and to be invisible how we find help. It’s interesting, Tony, because Courtney talked about Dr. K, and this is in The Invisible A invisible ache, our new book, which will be out on November 7th. Courtney had several other experiences, shall we say, with therapists who, and I’m happy to hold this up there.
(12:57): Courtney and I are so excited about it. And we’re excited not because for the sake of excitement, we’re excited because Black lives and Black Health Matters and we know that this is going to save lives. But Courtney had several therapists, Tony before, or several appointments with therapists who were, I’m just going to say it because we don’t have a lot of time to find nice words where it was [00:13:30] a disaster and a disaster because some people were intrigued with Courtney B Vance, who was on Broadway. And so they would love to have signed up as his therapist. There were people, there was a Black woman who therapist, because sometimes we think we need to find somebody who’s like us. So if I’m a Black man, I need to find a Black man. If I’m a Black woman, I need to find a Black woman. I ask this question when people have called me and said, I need, I’m also, they mentioned an ordained minister. So sometimes people will call and say, I need a Christian and I want to come to you because I heard you preaching. And I’ll say to them, if you needed heart surgery or brain surgery, would you ask if that person is a Christian or would you ask, can you get me off the table alive?
(14:26): This is how we find someone word of mouth. So we got to find people like you met Courtney. And so you might say like, okay, what was her name? And I know she’s going on, but who do we know in California? Now you’ve met me. So word of mouth. But because we’ve been ashamed as a people about getting help now we’ll borrow money for bail. We’ll tell people about all kinds of mess,] but we won’t say, I’m not sleeping well and I have these thoughts that I can’t get rid of and I can’t shake them. And so part of Tony, what we do is we find the right people. I didn’t say, just go ask anybody. Ask someone who looks like they’re doing their work. Who has told you that their child struggled? Courtney’s godson, 23 years young in 2020, died by suicide, vibrant, had loving parents, 23 would be 26 now and is gone. So we can’t keep these secrets about our suffering as if somehow we are ashamed of our humanity. All we’re doing is claiming that we are wholly] and fully human. Remember it was said that we were only three fifths. I don’t know if you all know that, that we were only partially human. So I don’t know what part they left off, but I do know here today that part of our divine birthright is that we reclaim our full humanity and that comes with being broken and being hurt and being resilient.
Tony Cornelius (16:32): Fantastic. Well, lemme say this. As you talk about that, let’s talk a little bit about recognizing, and particularly I’m going to send this over to Courtney. My experience, my father said to me weeks before he passed, well Tony, I don’t know how long I’m going to be here as a father, father tells you that you go, well, dad, what do you mean you don’t know how long you’re going to be here? Well, Tony, I just don’t know. Well, that goes [00:17:00] in one ear and out the other really. And then finally it happened, and then I understood. But to recognizing it is so, so difficult and so important at the same time. And I’m just wondering, Courtney, have you learned anything by this experience as far as recognizing some of those things amongst us? And this is not just for men, it’s for women as well.
(17:24): I don’t want people to think this is just for men. Women have the same thoughts we have. Well, I think we all know folks. We all know ourselves. And the difficult times that we go through, and the question is for me, always, what are we going to do about it? I mean, I didn’t know that there was something that I could do. Tony, Dr. Robin, I didn’t know what,] as I said, as when I got into therapy, I didn’t even know I needed to be in therapy because I was so used to doing things the way I had done things. So I think the largest step is to recognize that I need to talk to somebody or I would like to talk to somebody. And from talking to Dr. K as I related, I just started babbling because there was so much to you just do.
(18:40): And some people do, and don’t go where you can be recognized and they’re living life. I was blessed to be able to be successful in the career that chose me. [00:19:00] And a lot of times that’s enough. And if there’s some struggle that goes along with it, then you just got to learn how to deal with that. That’s just on you. You just got to learn. But the knowledge that I don’t just have to put up with the suffering, that there is something else other on the other side of suffering and the fact that we actually succeed or do well at our job or do, but [00:19:30] I’m not in abundance. I’m not old. I don’t feel well. And I think that’s everybody. I don’t just think that’s, I mean, we are told to give our cars a tuna and we go to the dentist every well, and we’re supposed to do our pap smears and colonoscopy Well, [00:20:00] and we’re supposed to take care of our physical cells, but this is a part of it.
(20:04): The mental health, it’s all about the battlefield is the mind. It’s all about the mind, the way as a person thinks in their mind. So they are. And the fact that our mental health is the last thing we pay attention to, but it’s the last thing that we think that we need to pay attention to because nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to say that. Say, yeah, you’re not dealing. Well, [00:20:30] please don’t talk to me about that. Okay, you’re struggling with what do you want me to do? You want me to pray for you? Okay, I’ll pray for you. And then I got to go. But what are we going to do about it? And that’s what our book is about. That the message from me, from my experience is that it came up on me and I didn’t know what to do, anything. But my mother, I love her again. Thank you, holy Spirit. My [00:21:00] mother said, my sister named is Cecily CEEs. And Courtney, when you go back find somebody, she didn’t tell me what to do. Dr. K didn’t tell me. She said, I want you to get your dreams. She didn’t tell me how to do it. She challenged me. Don’t challenge me.
Dr. Robin Smith (21:17): She also asked, are you patient? Yea.
Tony Cornelius (21:22): And the answer is no, Courtney, (21:25): He told the truth. He said, no, I’m not. And then what did she say? (21:29): She [00:21:30] said, well, do you have the patience to let the mud settle in the water and the water become clear? And I said, no. (21:46): I said, I got to go, Dr. K. I got to get going. I’m going to make a decision. She said, well, how do you make decisions, Courtney? I mean, just like everybody, right? And this is how you get yourself in trouble. You say, well, that is what everybody does, right? No. I said, well, I just like in acting, I just go for a choice. I make a choice. I flip a coin and just go for her. She said, that’s this is all information that she’s gleaning from me to see where we are. Where is this young man? What’s the next steps for this young man? How many sessions per week do we need to? Dr.
Robin Smith (22:28): And Tony, I want to say something [about your father’s cry. Father’s cry, his godson’s cry, his courage. Sometimes we say that people who die by suicide, they weren’t courageous. We blame them for running out of steam. We blame them or we blame ourselves or both for not having heard. But how would you ever have known, and this is something I want to remind us all. Yes. He said, I don’t think I’m going to be around much longer. That was a cry. But you could never have known that a few weeks or so later, his despair would
Tony Cornelius (23:25): Prevail. And my sister said the exact same thing. Yeah. I mean, my father said the exact same thing to my sister. She said, daddy, we’re going to take care of you. Something like that. Something he said, oh no baby, you don’t need to take care of me. Something like that without coming out and saying it, right, without saying it. Trying
Dr. Robin Smith (23:43): To. Right. So we can’t know that. But what we can do with these new ears, we can begin to listen. I think about there are times when I’ve said, because when I’ve asked people, have you ever been suicidal? And people] are like, oh, not me. And I’m like, well, it depends on what you think suicidal thoughts are. Because I’ve thought what a blessing it would be when life was rawest for me not to see the sun again. So I didn’t have a plan, and I didn’t have a weapon, maybe, and I didn’t have but the ache in me. And I had people who loved me say, oh, you don’t want to say that. You don’t want to. No, I mean you have everything to live for, which makes the person who is aching even exactly ache more.
Tony Cornelius (24:43): Let me cut in by saying I don’t know how much more time we have, but let’s talk a little bit about reclaiming. Let’s talk about how we can get better. How do we find ourselves again, and what do we have to do to reclaim our lives?
Dr. Robin Smith (25:03): Yeah, our birthright. Courtney’s mother, in terms of getting resources, everyone can’t afford a private therapist. But there are universities, and I want everyone to know this, that have counseling programs. I was working in one, and they have sliding scales. Sometimes it’s free. You can get some of the best care in these centers because people are training with some of the best clinicians. So I want to remind us that there are community mental health centers all around the country. There are universities all around the country, but Courtney’s mother, I call her, she was a fierce lion Mama Vance. And what I want to remind us is of this, when we say to our children, do what I say, not what I do, it doesn’t work. There’s a quote that says The lion’s story will never be known as long as the hunter is the one to tell it.
(26:02): So when you said, where do we start? We start, the lion’s story will never be known as long as the hunter is the one to tell it. And so we start Tony by telling our stories to someone safe, someone who understands that this is holy ground. Someone who can tolerate [not having the answers and can let the water get really messy and the mud to settle, and they don’t need you to be okay when you’re not. So we start by telling our story to someone who can bear and we don’t feel like it’s too much for them to carry. They’re going to be up at night. It’s so, so important that the beginning is for the lion to tell his or her own story to some person or community where it is safe. Sometimes it’s the barbershop. It is sometimes in that chair where someone says, man, how are you? And you say, I’m not well. And they don’t shut you down. They say, well, what’s happening? Tell me more. This is the line I want to feed you. When someone tells you they are hurting, don’t try and fix it. Ask them to tell you more. So you’re at your wits end. You think you may not be here much longer. Tell me more. Because you can’t reassure someone about their ache. Ask them to tell you more.
Tony Cornelius (28:02): It’s interesting as I listen to you, there are times when people come to me who are in pain, but I think what happens is we’re so involved in ourself that we don’t hear it. And I’ve had friends that come to me and say, Tony, I’m having some thoughts. And because I understand that, I dig in immediately, but there’s so many people who don’t have that experience. And the interesting thing is that those who don’t have that experience, it goes in one ear, right out the other. I don’t know if you’ve experienced that as well, but here’s what I want to do. If I came to you and told you I was a certain kind of way, what would you say to me
Dr. Robin Smith (28:50): If you said to me that you were feeling depressed and thinking of taking your life or just depressed? I’d ask, tell me [] what’s that depression look like? How does it show up in your everyday life? How does it show up in your eating and in your sleeping? How does it show up? Is there any joy in your life? And what I’ve found, Tony, is when we hear Black men don’t go to therapy, I’m like, I don’t know what Black men people are talking about. Because if you create a safe space for a Black man to tell his story, he’ll talk. He’ll keep talking. He won’t stop talking. You’ll have to remind him that we can do this next week and do it again the following week. And so I would make space to let that man know that we can make this journey together. I’d also ask if someone’s talking about not wanting to live, [00:30:00] whether or not they have a plan. We need to know, have people, how far has someone thought out not being here? So, instead of being afraid, again, I don’t want to ask because that might put the thought in their head. That’s the lie. You don’t put that thought in someone’s head. You help someone express what is already happening inside of them.
Tony Cornelius (30:30): [00:30:30] Well, we’ve got a couple of minutes left, and I want Courtney to say, just give us a few words on the way out. I was just sitting thinking about what you were saying, doc, and one of the things that, the thoughts that are in our mind that as long as it’s taken for the thoughts to get in our minds, it’s going to take an equal] amount of the quote, suicidal thoughts. It’s going to take an equal amount. They said it takes three weeks or so to change habits. So one of the things that helps me is finding those things, that finding the joy. I like to ride my bike. I have e-bikes now, and when I’m riding my bike, my mind goes somewhere else, and it’s not running. I had a total [knee replacement on my knees, so I can’t be running like I used to anymore.
(31:34): But I can ride my bike, I can ride my scooter. I like to listen to books. So I read more now than I have. And once, it’s another thing, something that I can do for my mind that it’s not some loose drugs, not cigarettes, it’s not coffee, it’s not drinking. It’s something. Find something that you love to do and do it. Find something that brings you joy, that’s simple, that’s not expensive, something that’s doable. And if it’s walking for you, just get out and walk. Maybe sometimes you can’t walk in your neighborhood, I get it. But find something to do. Get on the bus and go to a neighborhood where you can walk around just to make sure it’s not Beverly Hills because they don’t let you walk around that neighborhood. I know. [00:32:30] Don’t come back and say, Courtney said, how’d you go to Beverly Hills and walk around? What are you doing here? Courtney B. Vance and I should walk around to Beverly Hills. Don’t be going to Beverly Hills and walking around. Okay, I’m, that’s all I’m saying, ladies and gentlemen, the invisible ache. Did we give him something to go out with? Don’t go to Beverly Hills. We having so much fun in here, Courtney. He doesn’t want to go home. He doesn’t want to go home. But I want to introduce this book, the Invisible Ache, Black Men Identifying Their Pain and Reclaiming Their Power. Courtney b Vance, and Dr. Robin l Smith.
Dr. Robin Smith (33:08): Thank you. And thank you, Tony. I mean, I know we need to end, but I really want to thank you and thank Courtney for this moment because what I know for sure, I know this for sure, that there are Black men and women all around the country who are going to find the right person to say, ouch. I hurt. And it will save lives. It will save lives. And we will remember in your father’s honor and in your father’s honor that they paid so that other Black men, their sons and others, and Black women of course too, but our Black boys and our Black men, so they can live and live abundantly. So thank you. Oh, for Tony Cornelius (34:05): Question, I was told there was a q and a, but I’m not sure. Dr. Robin Smith (34:09): Hi. Okay. My name is Re Bryant. I am a licensed clinician in la. I’ve been practicing for about 15 years, so I’m happy we’re doing this segment today. I also run a nonprofit that sponsors Black men to get licensed clinical support from other [00:34:30] Black men. We’re actively doing that program right now, so I just wanted to put that out there. If there are African American men who are looking to get mental health support, you may not have insurance or what have you. We are running a program right now where we will cover it for free, eight sessions completely free. So if you want to come to find me afterward, please come and talk to me. If you are looking for a therapist for ongoing support, I have a private practice in la Brian [00:35:00] counseling.com. CCG for you.org is a nonprofit. So, I just wanted to put that out there. I’m glad you guys are doing this work.
(35:08): You
Courtney B. Vance (35:10): Quick comment and then a question. Really, thank you for this space. I have a history of attempted suicides from age six to 20. I’m 22 now, so I’m about just 22 in August, so a year and some change of those stocks and attempts outside of me, [00:35:30] just thanks to especially Ms. Culley, she’s the executive director of Sanctuary of Hope, who she creates a space and opportunities where we can receive therapy and heal for former foster youth and former homeless youth. So that just as I’m at this, the question, just as I’m in this period of healing and whatnot when it comes to vulnerability, how do you [00:36:00] all engage in that without the thought of there being a sabotage in the future or that paranoia of it coming back to bite you.
Dr. Robin Smith (36:13): And tell us your name again?
Courtney B. Vance (36:15): Nathaniel. Nathaniel. Nathaniel.
Dr. Robin Smith (36:17): Let me say this. You are every piece of courage to be whole. I mean, you are [00:36:30] everything. I mean, you are Nathaniel, you are. And I’m not minimizing that your life from six to 22 has been painful and traumatic, but you are the living testimony that with those attempted suicides, because attempted suicides, and you know this even better than I do, it’s a pain. It is that invisible [00:37:00] ache. And so when you talk about vulnerability, if we, you, me, and those in this room understand that vulnerability is part of your superpower, you could not, and you didn’t have to say anything. You didn’t have to say a word. So I want to ensure that you understand that everyone in this room and around the country understands that vulnerability, [00:37:30] if shared with the right people, is our superpower. And if we make the mistake of trusting someone unworthy, we’ve all done that. I’ve told things to people that I’m sorry, I told them because they’ve taken my vulnerability and used it against me. But that’s okay because as long as I’m learning, it’s not a failure. It’s [00:38:00] just feedback telling me, don’t do that again with that person. And so what you are doing is you are living right now showing us exactly what it looks like to be strong and mighty and vulnerable in your power.
Tony Cornelius (38:25): My father was a foster child, and [00:38:30] thought that his mother didn’t want him. And because he thought his mother didn’t want him at the base core, when things got rough, he was unmoored. Eventually, he had enough, and there was no long story here. He had enough, and he took himself out. But we found out that his mother was looking for him. And if he had just been able to hold on, and I found out [00:39:00] that me, he held on long enough to, I knew I was loved and unconditionally that he was at everything, every event, every sporting event, everything. He was there. My mother was there. He couldn’t do it for me. He wasn’t done for him, but he did it for my sister and me, and then he did it for me so that I could find out that my vulnerability, when I found acting, [00:39:30] I found that I can use my vulnerability, as you had said, as power. Your superpower, my superpower. Vulnerability in acting is a superpower. If you’ve got that, you’ve got it. People are, oh, Courtney, I wish, how do you, it’s like, but baby, that’s my superpower.
(39:54): That’s my superpower. And so you keep, I will stand up for you. You [00:40:00] keep on going. You keep, you just keep going. Don’t you stop and find something positive? You find somebody to talk to so that when those thoughts come up in your head again, you got positive things to say, get away from me so that you end up one day sitting up here with a mic [00:40:30] on a couch with a testimony. That’s what you got. You got a testimony. So you see all this, use that for when things get rough again. Because they will. Oh, tomorrow it’s going to be up on you. So you have to arm yourself to get ready for the fight. That’s what it is. It’s just a fight. And just because you get their thoughts, you see all
[00:41:00] These people have been here.
(41:01): Every one of us has those thoughts. The question is, what you going to do about ’em? And I say, tell ’em to go somewhere. You got somewhere to go. No. With that being said, I want you to know we love you. Amen. And I felt you before you got on that microphone. Okay? And I love you. I don’t even know you and I love you. Amen. And there’s so many other people that love you, man. Okay? [00:41:30] And if my father were here today, I’d tell him the same thing You so keep doing what you’re doing and I love how you got up there and spoke out and keep speaking out. Okay?
Speaker 5 (41:46): I think they
Tony Cornelius (41:47): Said that we ain’t got to go home, but Speaker 6 (41:49): I think they right. You don’t have to go home, but you must leave here. We want to tell you that, by the way, hope is, hold on. Pain ends hope. [00:42:00] Hold on. Pain ends. And a lot of times we don’t know whether we’re anxious, we’re depressed. We have thoughts. We don’t know what to do with, hold on, hold on. Pain. That’s hope. Just remember, hold on. Pain. And so we have a question.
Speaker 5 (42:21): My name is Ted Booker, and I work for an unapologetically Black agency called the Ahmad Institute. We are intersectional peer support, behavior, health [00:42:30], and wellness organization. You can get therapy from us for free. We’re in South la. We’re in Watts. Wonderful. It’s called the Ahma Institute. You can get on our list and you can receive therapy for free without insurance.
Speaker 6 (42:46): Wonderful. And say the name again so everyone
Speaker 5 (42:48): Can, the Ahma Institute. It’s an acronym for Arming Minorities Against Addiction and Disease. And I just had a quick statement because this is a great beginning, but there’s one thing in Black culture [00:43:00] current day that we still have to deal with that deals with this subject matter. You don’t know Black culture if you don’t know that Black women run Black culture and lead Black culture. However, one of the things that is happening today is that I engage with young people a lot. So much stuff happens to Black males that they get protected, and our females are raised. So the other disparity like this between men and women, when you look at socioeconomic status, education, head of household [00:43:30], and Black culture between males and females, it looks like this. (43:35): And you can’t do anything in Black culture without our women. Even if she’s supporting. Amen. You cannot. I’ll say it again. You cannot do anything in Black culture without our women. And that’s a direct result of slavery, what slavery did to us in this country. And there are so many things associated with that that we have not the stigmas that we have not dealt with, but where do we begin in terms of, we [00:44:00] still need to protect, but where do we begin with raising our boys where they could be on an equal playing field with our women because our young ladies are being taught to survive and take care of themselves. Their counterparts look like this. Speaker 6 (44:19): Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you so much for that. So I’m supposed to tell you there is a QR code. QR code [00:44:30] was put together today for the invisible ache. It’s on your screen. You can pre-order the book right now. You can buy the book. We want you to do that. The book is also on audio. Courtney and I recorded the book, so you can buy it now. Go to that QR code and purchase the Invisible A. It’s about saving lives and our community. Thank [00:45:00] you so much, and God bless you. Thank.
