HomeHealthYour Mental Health: Setting Boundaries Unapologetically

Your Mental Health: Setting Boundaries Unapologetically

Presented By: Dr. Lisa Lowry Lomas President and CEO of Lisa Listens Inc.

Dr. Camille Adam Jones, Psychotherapist and Wellness Advocate

Roslyn Young-Daniels, Founder and CEO of Black Health Matters

Lamman Rucker Film and Television Star

Roslyn Young-Daniels spearheaded a spirited conversation about mental health in the Black community after the Black Health Matters Spring 2024 summit.

They emphasized the need for transparency and unity.

“This has been an ongoing effort by people in our field to silence the shame and to remove the stigma in mental health concerns in the Black community,” said Adam Jones. She connected health issues that face deep stigma in society to the need for mental health care. “Substance abuse, domestic violence. You know, all of these are often rooted in mental unwellness,” she continued.

Many of these were discussed at length during the national social distancing spurred by COVID-19. “The isolation in COVID allowed everybody to say what is happening worldwide.”

The trio discussed the need for intersectionality in these discussions.

Young-Daniels expressed a desire to include more Black men in conversations about their health and wellness and that of their loved ones. “Now, if you look around this room, it is dominantly women,” she said. “So I asked Lamar, what can you say to our brothers so they feel encouraged to come? And he said, make a place for them at the table.”

Rucker, a host at the Summit, was initially supposed to introduce the two experts and bow out, but he felt welcome to participate because of their warm exchanges and the vibrant audience. “He’s making sure we’re making a place at the table in this discussion,” Young-Daniels added.

The world may have sped back up, and the mask mandates may have been lifted, but the need for mental health care remains more urgent than ever.

Dr. Adams-Jones described how she put her physical health at risk due to an inability to slow down and prioritize. When she was experiencing a medical emergency, her husband told her, “Camille, just stop.”

Her brain would not let her absorb the advice or set the boundaries she needed.

It was difficult for her to pause even while panicking. “I did not know how, and then we got to the hospital, and it was a Black nurse, and I’m texting work. I’m dealing with an HR nightmare, and she says, let me ask you something. Is that text message worth your tomorrow,” she recalled. The question was sobering.

What she was experiencing was a rash onset of superwoman syndrome, something that plagues many Black women. “I believe, in part, we must own some of this. We gotta take the S off our chest and stop trying to be Superwoman,” said Dr. Lowry Lomas.

Rucker described similar pressures men face, who are less likely to gather to discuss it the way women do. “Things are just as real for us, too, and we don’t often know what to do; we don’t have anybody to talk to, even you. You live with us, you’ve birthed us, you’re our sister, you’re our lover, our grandmother. We can’t talk to you; you don’t know how to talk to us, and when we talk to you, you don’t listen,” he said.

He expressed his perspective on the gaps in communication between men and women, stating that men desire a safe space even if they don’t always show it.

“We need you, we want you, trust me, don’t let none of these dudes tell you. They don’t want to be with somebody. We are doing our best to act. Like we don’t need you and focusing on all this, other superficial foolishness, all its fake swag, all this stuff,” he said. “It’s a lie. But that’s our defense mechanism. That’s also how many of us are socialized. Don’t fall into that trap.”

Dr. Adam Jones recommended looking inward before prioritizing romance and creating space for yourself. “As a therapist, I have so many people out here dating who are unavailable to date, brokenness, so thick. Just grieving hard, just nothing fixed, nothing unpacked,” she said.

“What you were doing is just contaminating someone else’s life, producing toxicity to raise children, amongst bringing this grief into the entire community,” she continued.

“When you decide to say, I’m unavailable, I’m gonna sit in the house. You’re doing a community service and a self-care service for yourself.”

Categories

Latest Posts

Sign Up for the Black Health Matters Weekly Newsletter

Not Interested, Close Window
Powered by